christmas

Via ODN
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Listen up, drug dealers, if you sell your garbage on these streets, consider yourself on the naughty list.

That’s right, Santa Claus is coming to town, and this time, it’s personal.

via South Park

This year, Santa’s got a whole new bag because anti-drug units in Peru are dressing like Father Christmas, perhaps so they can gain entry into any house without a warrant via the chimney. However, Ol’ Saint Nick wasn’t so jolly after a brief stop in Peru, where he raided a suspected drug house, apprehending four individuals who wish they were getting coal this Christmas.

So next time you’re thinking about breaking the law, remember, he’s always watching.

via Toons Artie

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20 Festive Breakup Excuses That Want to Help Get You out of Buying a Christmas Gift This Year

Over the weekend people shared their favorite takes on #ChristmasBreakUpExcuses, and going through these, I've gotta admit..pretty impressed. Goes without saying these are NOT going to help you avoid the steaming sugar coated sh*tpile that'll fall from the sky upon your life if you try to use one of 'em.

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Best Video Games to Play While Drinking With Friends This Holiday Season

Ah, the holiday season, when its high time to hibernate in our respective caves, taking shelter from the harsh and cold winter...and turning to the better things this world has to offer like drink and video games, maybe in the company of like-minded drinking compatriots. These are some of our favorite video games to play while drinking, all with their own rules. Comment on ones / rules we might've missed!

christmas drinking Mario Kart holiday call of duy video games video game logic Skyrim nintendo drinking games rocket league - 1245957
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christmas card prank chief keef Troll Brother Announced His Sister's "Relationship" With Chief Keef to the Whole Family in Fake Christmas Cards
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This brother sent his whole family lovely Christmas cards on his sister's behalf. It sounds like she had an amazing 2016 (unlike the rest of us) after meeting "famous rapper" Chief Keef and (possibly?) starting a family with him.
 


But it turns out that it was just an excellent work of photoshop/brilliant troll. 

 

P.S. Bang Bang

Via Shinigama
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Everyone celebrates the holidays in their own way. Whether you’re lighting the menorah or putting presents under the tree, one thing remains true: The holidays are a season of giving and warm wishes.

Which explains why this pastor gave the gift of cold reality with a dash outright crazy to a line of people waiting to see Santa Claus at the mall this weekend. That'll bring people back into the church for sure

via Reddit

Over the weekend, Pastor David Grisham from Last Frontier Evangelism walked into a mall in Amarillo, TX and did a real bang up job of getting people interested in the story of Christmas. Grisham walked up and down the line, telling the children that “There is no Santa Claus.” Here's what he had to say: 

”Folks, my name is Pastor David. Kids, I wanted to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does no exist. The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 year ago... The man you’re about to see today is just a man in a suit dressed up like Santa, but Santa does not exist."

Then addressing the parents, he continued:

"Don’t lie to your children and tell them there’s such a thing as Santa when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer. There is no workshop on the North Pole. There is no elves making toys.”

Anyway, parents in line didn’t take too kindly to someone with such a tenuous grip on reality lecturing them on reality. So a couple of dads with beards confronted this man and informed him that it’s perfectly fine for them to lie to their children if they want to.

And you know what, it is every parent's right to lie to their children. When they say, you can’t have ice cream for dinner, of course you can have ice cream; they just don’t want you to. Lies all lies!

But according to Huffington Post, there actually is a Santa Claus. They write:

”Whether Grisham knows it or not, historians say the character of Santa Claus as we know him today is based off a Christian saint, Saint Nicolas, whose generosity toward children as a Greek bishop led to him being declared a patron saint of children and bringer of gifts.
One of St. Nicolas’ most famous acts, which may sound familiar to those who celebrate Christmas, was him saving three sisters from being sold into prostitution by dropping a bag of gold down the indebted family’s chimney so they could pay off their dowries. One of the bags happened to land in one girl’s stocking that had been hung up to dry, according to historian Bill Petro.

So open a book, Grisham, and stop trying to ruin everyone’s Christmas by reminding parents that they lie to their children, so their kids can have one nice day out in this awful year.

via Reddit