(While watching mom hang stockings)
Me: Mom, you only have two kids, why are you hanging six stockings?
Mom: Well, two are for the dogs, three for the cats, and one for the bird.
Me: So where's Sister's stocking? And mine?
Mom: Oh like I'm getting gifts for you two.
Cousin: *pointing to large five foot tall package by the Christmas tree* Dad is gonna love what I got him, he's been needing it for a while.
His older brother: You need to poke holes in the box so the stripper can breath.
(Christmas morning. I open a present to what I think is a new iphone)
Me: You got me an iphone? I can't believe it!
Dad: Just open it and see.
(I proceed to ope iPhone box)
Me: There is a picture of an iphone... But no phone...
Me: Why would you go through all of this trouble just to crush my dreams?
Dad: Get used to a life of disappointment
Mom: I wonder what I can get your Dad for Christmas.
Me(being silly): Your Mother!
Mom: He doesn't want THAT.
(After my 4-year-old got in trouble she came up to her father.)
4yr old: Am I on the naughty list?
Father: With the way you've been acting, you probably are.
4yr old: *Thinks for a moment* Not if I kill Santa.
Y así nadie pelea
Things That Prove Adults Don't Make Good Decisions
Las desventajas de ser metalero
Take Some Firework Advice From Those That Have FAILed Before ...
Behold the World's Largest Firework Being Launched 2000 Feet ...
This Siberian Husky Is Anyone After A Few Too Many Edibles
Historia con final inesperado
15 Horribly Spaced Words
You Can't Celebrate Independence Without Shooting Hot Dogs ...
Childhood Ruined: Classic Cartoons Go to College
Pick Your Site Name
Tell us more about it